I thought I knew it all
My self-righteous martyrdom were my walls
That I bounced off of like a post-pardoned pin-up ball
All the misery comforted my naked body like a blanket
As I hid in plain sight within the confides of the world’s order
A world of good intention left room for me to mend what was mine
When I came to find what was left I would Midas and make
Until I had a shiny brand new existence of values bigger and better than the last
But all I got was brass, and a tarnished view of the past, polished but not pretty
Was the past me really all that bad? The one that was messy and uniquely unclad?
My emotions melded together from my foreshadowed future and my provocative past
Then they became one molten madness manipulating my hard unwavering core
Internal combustion that made me feel sore seemed to somehow channel paths
That expressed themselves honestly heralding my passions that born deep within
The eruption foretold in fantasies that would somehow recreate the underdog above.
Layer-by-spewing-layer they forged their way to the top and smothered me in a blanket of my own fire.
What was underneath burned away, yet the shell of the my prior self laid encased
Fossilized familiar feelings that are paralleled by paradox and futility became my new foundation for a better world outside of myself.
Hopes that were not in vain, ember and crackle away feeding my center’s engine
This hyper hypocritical negative self-talk would not have room within this alchemical reconfiguration.
The best parts of me rush forward, and the bad simply join the flowing paths to the surface; what was left of my world.
It burned away all I had spent three years building, it killed all my concurrent attempts
Seethed the shackles of my upbringing, and washed them down the mountain
A mountainous range that I had dreamed of climbing, that was becoming me was now barren.
The world looks in horror at what I’ve done, and it weeps for it’s normalcy.
It took three years to build this, and it took but seconds to level.
And just when they thought that I was gone forever, they hear the sound
Of shattering Earth within the ground, and I caw as I am projected above it all
I spread my wings; I fly.